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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Just landed via Facebook:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Trending via Telegram:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Making waves on Messenger:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Just shared via Facebook:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Going viral on Threads:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

28 Funny deserve quotes

Funny deserve quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of getting what you earn 😄✨ Whether it’s about rewards, karma, or just life’s little surprises, these witty lines remind us not to take things too seriously 🤪🎉 Ready to laugh and reflect? Let’s dive into some cheeky wisdom that proves everyone deserves a little fun and a lot of laughs! 😂👍

New funny deserve quotes 👇

For even more funny deserve quotes, hit next 👇

All funny deserve quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

72 shares on Threads this month:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

ASAP (as sapphic as possible).

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Going viral on Discord:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Spotted on Facebook:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Trending via Reddit:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Just shared via Discord:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Making waves on X:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

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