Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Commentary:
"If life gives you a hill to climb, just plop down in your chair with a nice cold Fanta 🍊 and let the hill come to you! Who needs mountain climbing when you've got a comfy seat and a fizzy drink? 😂 #ChillinNotClimbin"
6 months ago
Share →: You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Commentary:
Well, isn't life just a series of epic performances sprinkled with a touch of drama and a pinch of embellishment? 🎭😂 Remember, it's all just a dress rehearsal until the final curtain call! Why not add some jazz hands and a fabulous finale to your story? 💃🕺💫
6 months ago
Share →: Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Commentary:
"Confucius knew how to make the best out of every situation – even the hangovers! 🍺💀 Just remember, it's all about quality over quantity…unless we're talking about #memories, then bottoms up! 🥂😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Commentary:
Sure thing! How about this: "If you think I'm bad at texting now, just wait until I'm ghosting you on the Ouija Board! 👻📱 #TextsFromTheAfterlife"
6 months ago
Share →: ‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Commentary:
"Oh, dying became a group project when I started working on my own fabulous exit plan! 💁‍♂️💀 Who needs a team when you can rock the afterlife solo? 😂 #IndependentDeparture"
6 months ago
Share →: If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Commentary:
"If my demise involves a hill and a fishy situation, it's safe to say I didn't go down without a trout 😉🐟 #FishyBusiness"
6 months ago
Share →: Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Commentary:
"I agree! It would be entertaining to hear our iPhones pleading, 'Please, plug me in! I promise to be a good device and not freeze on you again!' 📱😂 #LowBatteryDrama"
6 months ago
Share →: Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Commentary:
"Ah, the audacity of assuming I possess the vitality to conquer even a gentle incline for a mere matter of principle. 🏔️😅 Perhaps I'll just roll down the hill instead, much easier on the knees! 🤣 #LazyButSmart"
6 months ago
Share →: I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Commentary:
Ah, the metric system debate – a true American classic! 🇺🇸📏 Imagine the chaos of using liters instead of gallons or centimeters instead of inches! ⚖️ Who knew measurements could spark such passion? 😄 Let the metric mayhem begin!
6 months ago
Share →: Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Commentary:
🎬🎄"Forget about the Grinch stealing Christmas, Alan Rickman seems to be the one wreaking havoc on the holiday season with his legendary performances! Move over, Santa, it's Alan's time to shine and ruin Christmas in style with his range of iconic characters. 'Tis the season for Alan Rickman to steal the show and your Christmas cheer!" 🌟😂