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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,918

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Going viral on Slack:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Making waves on Telegram:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Shared recently on Slack:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Just landed via Threads:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

22 Funny drugs quotes

Funny drugs quotes are here to tickle your funny bone while keeping things light and cheeky 😂💊 Whether it’s clever wordplay or witty observations, these gems turn serious topics into smiles 😜✨ Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day—get ready to laugh out loud and see a lighter side of life! 😆🌈

New funny drugs quotes 👇

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

0

3 days ago

child, childhood, drug, drugs, expectation, free, free drug, humor, i, impression, much, reality, stranger, strangers, times
Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

0

2 months ago

adventure, choice, country, drug, drugs, foreign, foreign country, goal, guys, humor, kid, kids, life, life choice, main, marriage, married, travel, want, why
There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

0

2 months ago

athlete, athletes, competition, drug, drugs, hell, high, human, humans, humor, jump, Olympics, performance enhancing drug, performance-enhancing, satire, should, sports, take, want, where
I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

0

2 months ago

airport, airport security, drug, drugs, example, humor, i, joke, people, sarcasm, security, take
Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

0

2 months ago

career, drug, drug test, drugs, humor, ruin, test, testing, tests, workplace
I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

0

2 months ago

artist, drugs, genre, i, making, miss, music, music genre, nostalgia, sex-addict, singer, song, The Weeknd, Weeknd
Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

0

2 months ago

60s, comedy, cultural, cultural reference, drugs, give, history, humor, irony, just, me, nostalgia, realization, reference, satire, should, wait
ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

0

2 months ago

1980s, 1980s culture, 80s, ALF, culture, drug, drug humor, drugs, high, humor, nostalgic, parody, sitcom, vintage
Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

0

2 months ago

again, doing, drugs, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, mindfulness, recreational, satire
Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

0

2 months ago

childhood, drugs, humor, humor quote, phone, primary, rule, school, school rule, smuggling, taking

For even more funny drugs quotes, hit next 👇

All funny drugs quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

69 shares on X this month:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,866

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Seen just now on Slack:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Live now on WeChat:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Breaking via TikTok:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

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