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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,380

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Just landed via TikTok:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Spotted on Slack:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Making waves on YouTube:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

29 Funny embarrassing quotes

More funny embarrassing quotes 👇

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

3 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, baby, care, embarrassing, embarrassment, face, humor, moment, reaction, silly, silly face
One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

3 months ago

awkward, downhill, embarrassing, embarrassment, humor, things, walking, world
I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

3 months ago

alien, aliens, being, deny, dumb, embarrassing, front, here, humor, i, intergalactic, planet, travelers
Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

3 months ago

awkwardness, embarrassing, embarrassment, funny moment, humor, interrupt, interruption, me, moment, myself, self-deprecation, situation, social, social situation
Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

3 months ago

embarrassing, embarrassment, even, i, impress, myself, say, self, something
Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

3 months ago

asking, asleep, being, brain, embarrassing, embarrassment, even, fall, humor, insomnia, nothing, sleep
If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

3 months ago

attempt, bad, embarrassing, embarrassment, failure, humor, motivation, success
If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

3 months ago

browser, calculator, embarrassing, history, humor, technology
Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

3 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, cloth, date, dining, embarrassing, ever, fancy, food, good, luck, moment, restaurant, self-esteem, stain, table, table cloth, white

For even more funny embarrassing quotes, hit next 👇

All funny embarrassing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

62 shares on Discord this month:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

40 shares on Discord this month:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

40 shares on X this month:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Seen just now on Discord:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Seen just now on Slack:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Activity Log ✨

29 Funny embarrassing quotes

More funny embarrassing quotes 👇

All funny embarrassing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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