Commentary:
When the cats get better realtor deals than you 🏠🐈😸
300 Funny everyone quotes
Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.
Commentary:
When life gives you receipts, just remember you're writing your financial autobiography! 📚💸😂
I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.
Commentary:
Looks like I'll be wrapping myself up for the holidays! 🎁🤗💸
In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.
Commentary:
When your stomach decides it's an opera singer and the elevator is the stage! 🎶🐋🤫
Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.
Commentary:
I'd choose howling over hauling any day! 🐺🐴🤣
Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.
Commentary:
Sounds like my mirror is the only one not offending me these days! 😅🙃 #NarcissistNonsense
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.
Commentary:
Turning pain into awkward art one poorly timed joke at a time! 😅🎨
Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.
Commentary:
Oops, my bad! I guess it's time to upgrade my vocabulary software from the 1900s 📟 ➡️ 🤖 #VintageProblems #OldSchoolCharm 😂🍏
Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.
Commentary:
Love a partner who can make your heart race and your ears ring! 🩳🔊💕
Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.
Commentary:
When it comes to cheese, my heart says "just keep grating" and my wrist says "seriously, I'm tired now" 🧀❤️😂