113 Funny everything quotes

More funny everything quotes

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  5 months ago

  View →: I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.
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  5 months ago

  View →: New year update: losing everything but weight.
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  5 months ago

  View →: What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?
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  5 months ago

  View →: I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.
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  5 months ago

  View →: It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.
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  5 months ago

  View →: It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?
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  5 months ago

  View →: I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.
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  5 months ago

  View →: The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.
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  5 months ago

  View →: The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!
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  5 months ago

  View →: As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”
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  5 months ago

  View →: There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.
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  5 months ago

  View →: That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

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