93 Funny favorite quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

  Commentary:
  "When 'Mazel Tov' is your biggest vibe, but the rest is just your shower-singing material! #SelectiveTunes"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like the meeting agenda I'd actually show up for! #MultitaskingMasters"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

  Commentary:
  "Same here! That mask is totally their best feature! #UnmaskingTheTruth"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

  …

  Commentary:
  "When your brain is a circus and you're the ringmaster! #SillinessOverload"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like the ultimate game of 'Head-ache-tective!' Who needs puzzles when your body is a mystery, right? "

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

  Commentary:
  "Being the teacher's pet never felt so good… or costs so much! #TherapyGoals"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

  Commentary:
  "When did I become a 'sweater' person? Next, I'll be hosting tea parties for my stuffed animals! "

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  1 month ago

  Share →: “At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

  Commentary:
  " 'At your big age' is the shade equivalent of 'bless your heart' – lethal and polite! "

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: My favorite hobby is withering away.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of disappearing like a forgotten avocado at the back of the fridge! "

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like summer’s just an extended indoor adventure!

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