93 Funny favorite quotes

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  15 hours ago

  View →: I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”
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  3 days ago

  View →: Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.
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  6 days ago

  View →: My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: “At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: My favorite hobby is withering away.
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  1 month ago

  View →: My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.
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  1 month ago

  View →: One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.
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  1 month ago

  View →: My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.
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  1 month ago

  View →: I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.
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  1 month ago

  View →: My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.
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  3 months ago

  View →: My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.
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  3 months ago

  View →: My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.
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  3 months ago

  View →: What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?
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  4 months ago

  View →: My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.
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  4 months ago

  View →: You are my favorite dirty thought.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

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