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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Spotted on WeChat:

I am single, please disturb me!

Shared recently on Threads:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Going viral on Snapchat:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Trending via LinkedIn:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Live now on Instagram:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Going viral on Twitch:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Seen just now on Discord:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

155 Funny favorite quotes

Funny favorite quotes 😂🥳 are like nuggets of laughter gold, sprinkled with a dash of wisdom and a side of silliness. They zing right to the core of our humor-loving hearts, tickling our funny bones while giving us that smug feeling of being both entertained and enlightened. From sarcastic comebacks to punny revelations, these quotes are the ultimate mood lifters, perfect for sharing with friends or posting on your story for all the LOLs! 😄💬

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

63 shares on X this month:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

56 shares on Slack this month:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

69 shares on X this month:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Just landed via WeChat:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Trending via Snapchat:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Seen just now on Discord:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Live now on Instagram:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

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