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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Making waves on X:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Going viral on WeChat:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Live now on YouTube:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Trending via X:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Seen just now on Discord:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Breaking via Slack:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

37 Funny focus quotes

Funny focus quotes 🎯 bring a hilarious twist to staying on track, making distractions feel less like enemies and more like comic relief 😂. Whether you’re juggling tasks or battling procrastination, these witty gems keep your eyes on the prize while tickling your funny bone 🤪. Ready to laugh your way to laser-sharp concentration? Let’s dive into some clever and cheeky reminders that focus doesn’t have to be boring! 🚀✨

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All funny focus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

51 shares on X this month:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,637

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Just landed via Messenger:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Going viral on Slack:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Making waves on Reddit:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Going viral on YouTube:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Going viral on Discord:

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

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