They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dream of a friend in sync! 🕰️🤝 Imagine the glory of spontaneous hangouts and simultaneous Netflix binges… if only these mythical creatures existed! 🌟 #FriendGoals #WhoNeedsSleepAnyway"

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Commentary:
"Consulting with your partners in crime, a.k.a. your partners in craziness! 😜🤪 Can't make important decisions without the approval of your fellow lunatics, am I right? 🤣"

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Commentary:
Looks like the minimalist party turned into a maximum occupancy situation! 🎉 Less is more, except when it comes to unexpected guests hiding behind random granite décor. 😂 #MinimalistMaximalistParty

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Commentary:
"Remember the good old days when our biggest decision was choosing what snack to eat next? 🍕🎮 Let's all take a moment to honor the lost art of 'productive procrastination' aka chilling at your friend's house, contemplating life's mysteries like 'Should we watch another episode or call it a day?'"

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Commentary:
"Who needs a fitness tracker when your friend selection criteria already includes a built-in speed test? 🏃‍♂️🚶‍♀️ Because surviving a nature walk shouldn't turn into a sprinting competition… unless you're up for the challenge! 🌲😄 #FitnessGoals #SpeedTest"

Get in loser, we're going overthinking.

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Commentary:
🤯 "Get in loser, we're going overthinking!" Ah, the classic road trip to Anxiety Town. Buckle up, folks! It's gonna be a bumpy ride straight into the Land of Second Guessing and Analysis Paralysis. Don't forget to pack your snacks – overthinking burns a lot of mental calories! 🚗💭

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Commentary:
Looks like the best game to play on a phone is Messaging Your Ex! 📱🔥 Who knew getting a response was the ultimate high score? 😂 #GameOnExes

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father's network.

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Commentary:
"Who needs casual hookups when you can secure a job instead? 😂👔 Let's just hope this 'Friendship with Benefits' doesn't come with awkward performance reviews! 🤞💼 #NetworkingStrategy"

My name is Bob but my friends don't call me.

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Commentary:
"Looks like Bob's friends missed the memo that 'bob' is also a verb! 🤭 Maybe they're too busy bobbing for apples or bobbing their heads to a catchy tune. 😜 Hanging out with Bob must be quite a 'bob-sled' ride – up and down, but never a dull moment! 🎢"

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Commentary:
"Adulting: where the only race you're winning is the race to pay bills on time! 🏃‍♂️👟 #GrowingUpProblems"