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73 Funny friends quotes

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  • I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, you’re ‘quite nice,’ huh? 🤔 Sounds like a classic case of ‘If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?’ But hey, who needs friends when you’ve got such a sparkling personality, right? 😄🌟”

  • You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a best friend when you can have a basket of fries by your side? 🍟👯‍♂️ Truly, fries are the unsung heroes of the culinary world, always there for you in times of hunger and craving. Remember, a fry in need is a friend indeed! 😉 #FriendshipGoals #FryDayEveryday”

  • My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

    Commentary:
    Looks like his marriage is facing a force to be reckoned with! 🌌💔 May the divorce settlement be fair and may the custody of the collectibles be shared! 🤣 #StarWarsMarriageDrama

  • There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

    Commentary:
    “Whoever said ‘the more, the merrier’ clearly didn’t have to deal with annoying friends 🙄. With 8 billion options out there, may the friendship odds be ever in your favor! 🤣👯‍♂️ #QualityOverQuantity”

  • I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

    Commentary:
    Ah, yes! The modern female calendar: tweet volume peaks at certain hormonal vortexes, alarming friends and baffling enemies alike 📆📱🚨 #EmotionallyUnstableSocialMediaCEO

  • I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

    Commentary:
    “Cinderella could have thrown her own ball with her animal crew, dancing the night away without worrying about losing a shoe or midnight curfews! 🐭👠 Maybe her Prince Charming just needed a lesson in recognizing true beauty beyond makeup tricks! 💄😂”

  • Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the introverted holiday season strategy: Lights off, trying to hide from social interactions like a stealthy ninja 🎄😅 If you spot any peeking out, proceed with caution – they might be in hibernation mode! 🕵️‍♂️💤”

  • NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like NFTs turned into ‘Non-Fungible Treacheries’! 😂🎨💸 Sorry pals, apparently friendship wasn’t as ‘immutable’ as the blockchain after all! #NFTs #CryptoScams”

  • My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the circle of life in the feline kingdom 🐱🤢🐱… ChatGPT: the ultimate feast for creativity, where one’s output becomes another’s input! Just like how cats see vomit as a delightful bonus round! 🤪🤢 #CatGPT

  • As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the circle of life: from rebels with a cause to friends with fur 😂🍺 Embrace the evolution of your park drinking partners – just don’t forget to share the snacks with the squirrels! 🌳🐿️ #ForeverYoungAtHeart

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