I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

This Monday could have been an email.

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.