16 funny gifts quotes - Wordgag ツ

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Feb 3, 2026

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Feb 3, 2026

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Feb 3, 2026

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Jan 29, 2026

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Jan 29, 2026

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Jan 29, 2026

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Jan 29, 2026

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Jan 28, 2026

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Jan 28, 2026

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Jan 23, 2026

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Jan 23, 2026

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Jan 23, 2026

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Jan 23, 2026

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Jan 22, 2026

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Jan 20, 2026

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Jan 20, 2026