56 Funny help quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone hit a double whammy of lack of car knowledge and social skills! 🤣 Remember, folks, when offering help, it's best to be prepared in all aspects of life! 🚗💁‍♀️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old wisdom of parental psychology: Want your kid to magically become motivated to do homework? Just mention chores! 🧹💡 It's amazing how the promise of algebra suddenly makes folding laundry seem like the better option. 📚➡️🧺 #ParentingHack"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

  Commentary:
  🌲🐿️🧹✨ "Disney really had us all fooled with their princess movies, making us believe that a catchy tune and an open window would lead to woodland creatures doing our chores. I don't know about you, but my neighborhood squirrels are not interested in folding laundry anytime soon!" 😂 #DisneyMagicGoneWrong 🎶

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

  Commentary:
  🍽️ When your husband starts reading the menu out loud like it's the most thrilling novel in the world, you know you're in for a wild dining experience! 🙈 Who knew deciding between steak or chicken could be such an epic saga? Maybe we should start a support group for menu-reading partners! 🤣 #MenuMania

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

  Commentary:
  🍷🐱 "I admire this ambitious cat who is determined to become a connoisseur of fine wines! It's purr-fectly logical – let her sniff, swirl, and sip her way to a sommelier career! Who knows, maybe one day she'll be the one bringing home the bacon… or should I say bringing home the chardon-meow! 😸🍷"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

  Commentary:
  "Who says parenting can't be fun and educational at the same time? 🤓🍸 Let's just hope the math problems don't start getting blurry after a few sips! 😂 #MathMomsGoneWild"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

  Commentary:
  "Grandparents: the masterminds behind the chaos, the architects of mischief, the professors of shenanigans! 😂👴🏼👵🏼 They're like the original influencers, except instead of trendy dance moves, they teach you how to tie shoelaces together and blame it on the cat. 😜🐱 Embrace the wisdom, embrace the chaos! 🙌 #GrandparentLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic summer dilemma: sunscreen for the sizzle, raincoat for the drizzle! 🌞🌧️ Don't forget to hydrate your skin to keep it sunny-side up! 😉🌞 #SummerVibes"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

  Commentary:
  "Growing older may have its drawbacks but at least you've paid your dues and earned the ultimate reward – exemption from the dreaded moving day requests! 🚚💪 #AgingGracefully"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the Anonymous Pessimists were so negative that they didn't even bother showing up to their own meeting! 🤷‍♂️ Can you blame them though? 🙄 Maybe they were just too pessimistic to believe in the potential benefits of getting together. 😅 #NegativeNancy #glasshalffull

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