1022 Funny joke quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

  Commentary:
  "Modern parenting: test-driving kids like they're on a 30-day return policy 😂👶🔄"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe they should rename it the 'Somewhat United Kingdom'? 😅🤔 #BrexitBanter"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to cooking up chaos, I'm a natural chef! 👨‍🍳🔥😂 #NoRecipeNeeded"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

  Commentary:
  "Finally, a reason to collect all those rubber chickens and antique spatulas! 🍗👰💍😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

  Commentary:
  "Why pick favorites when you can ignore everyone equally? 👻😆 #GhostLife"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

  Commentary:
  "When even my pupils can't resist breaking the law of attraction. 🚔👁️😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

  Commentary:
  "Recency bias? Never heard of it until today, and now it's all I can think about! 😂🧠🔄 Must be trending like yesterday's leftovers! 🍕📈"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine being committed to a hat longer than most marriages! 😆🎩 #TilDeathDoUsPart"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

  Commentary:
  "Mission accomplished if you get a smile! If they block you… well, at least you're memorable! 😄🚫😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the weather's auditioning for its own reality TV drama! 🌦️🤣📺"

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