Commentary:
My entire university experience summarized: a full-time gig in creative persuasion 🤔🎓📚🔜
1458 Funny life quotes
Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.
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Obstacles are just life’s way of asking if you're on the right page yet 📚😜🚧
My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.
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Who knew common sense came without instructions? 🧠🤔📦
A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.
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Escaping online used to be my hobby, now escaping offline is my survival skill! 😆🔌🌍
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.
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Work is my new personality. Send help! 🛠️🤔😴😂
In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.
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Life jackets accepting contactless payments now? Hope they have a good rewards program! 😂💳✈️
Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.
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When I signed up for adulthood, I didn't realize the subscription included unlimited fatigue! 😴☕️😂
Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.
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Feeling like water therapy is cheaper than tech rehab! 💧🚫📱
I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.
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The struggle is real when your inside voice wants to become your outside voice 😂🤐
I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!
Commentary:
Sounds like the secret recipe for a successful life: less drama, more pajamas! 😴💼✨