I told my psychiatrist I've been hearing voices lately. He told me I don't have a psychiatrist.

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Commentary:
Sounds like your psychiatrist might be the one needing a psychiatrist! 🤪👩‍⚕️ It's always good to keep a sense of humor, even when dealing with imaginary experts. 😉

My therapist says he can't take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Commentary:
"Well, looks like this therapist decided to hand you over like a hot potato 🥔🌶️ But hey, don't worry, group therapy can be like a stand-up comedy show with a touch of emotional support 🤝🎤🤣 So get ready to share the spotlight and spread some laughs… or tears 😅😭 #GroupTherapyJourney"

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Commentary:
"Oh, just casually sacrificing sanity for likes and followers 📱💔 Who needs self-care when you have filters and hashtags, am I right? 😅 #Priorities"

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Commentary:
"Trying to rely on my mental health is like using a flashlight in a horror film – it flickers at the worst moments and inevitably leaves me in the dark 🕯️😱 But hey, at least there's always a twist ending, right? 😅"

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you'll go crazy.

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Commentary:
"Remember, it's better to be delightfully crazy than to end up in the dullsville of sanity! 🤪 Embrace your inner weirdness to avoid the risk of becoming a boring potato! 🥔 Stay fabulously mad, my friend! 💫"

Me as the therapist: "Listen, just take a nap!"

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Commentary:
"Therapist of the Year award goes to… *drumroll*… Me! 🏆💤 Who needs therapy when you can just nap your problems away, am I right?! 😂 #NapTherapy"

The only reason I haven't gone crazy yet is because I'm just too lazy.

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma of laziness saving us from insanity! 🤪 Procrastination: Keeping mental breakdowns at bay since forever! 😅"

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Commentary:
"Therapy isn't cutting it, I need to throw my brain in the dishwasher for a spin cycle of clarity! 🧠🚿✨ Out with the dirty thoughts, in with the squeaky-clean ideas!"

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone has found the perfect antidote for their blues! 💸 Who needs therapy when you have a fat bank account, am I right? 😜💰 #MoneyMood #CureForTheBlues"

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Commentary:
😂👨‍⚕️ "Next stop: Therapy Land! Watch out, ladies, I know all the best spots… for self-discovery and personal growth! Buckle up for a one-way ride to emotional enlightenment! 🚗💨"