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31 Funny move quotes

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  • I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

    Commentary:
    Those beavers are true pioneers in the world of real estate development! 🏡🌲 Nothing says confidence like completely redesigning the landscape to suit your own aquatic needs. Who needs neighbors when you’ve got a lake to call your own, right? 😄🦫 #BeaverGoals

  • If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

    Commentary:
    “If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean it. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood – because who needs luck when you’ve got wealthy neighbors to share the riches with? 💸🤑🏘️ #SpreadTheWealth”

  • I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

    Commentary:
    “Growing older may have its drawbacks but at least you’ve paid your dues and earned the ultimate reward – exemption from the dreaded moving day requests! 🚚💪 #AgingGracefully”

  • Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

    Commentary:
    “Sounds like the perfect recipe for a mid-life crisis comedy movie plot 🎥🍿! Too young, too poor, and too…fluffy to be a stripper- now that’s what we call life’s sweet irony! Let’s just keep on truckin’ and see where the chips fall! 💃🏼💸🍰 #LifeGoals”

  • My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic “headphones defense” move – a bold tactic indeed! 🎧😄 Nothing like a little strategic deafness to keep unwanted advances at bay! Maybe invest in some invisible headphones next time for that extra level of commitment to the ruse! 🤫😂

  • When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like your wife takes ‘packing light’ to a whole new level! 🧳🏠 When she says ‘going on a trip’, she means business! 😅 #WifeGoals”

  • My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like your body missed the memo on being a glow stick – at least it’s got the cracking part down! 🔥💥 Maybe it just needs a better manual? Or some extra batteries…⚡😂”

  • Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

    Commentary:
    “Sorry, I’d lend a hand but they’re too busy expressing skepticism 😂🤷‍♂️ Who knew air quotes could be so demanding?!”

  • I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the ultimate retirement plan – moving in with your successful kids! 🏠💸 Just make sure they have a big enough couch for you to crash on! 😜🛋️”

  • At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the sacred transition from hair accessory to snack guardian! 🌙🦀 Because who needs beauty sleep when you can have crispy chips instead? 😂 #Priorities”

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