265 Funny night quotes

• I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  chloroform, exhaustion, humor, ID, kids, know, night, parenting, people, sleep, tranquilizers

• Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  antics, blanket, boss, funny idea, humor, idea, night, night time, office, office antics, over, prank, sleep, time, workplace

• I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  40, adulthood, age, birthday, drinks, hangover, humor, i, know, last, morning, night, oh, online, online shopping, regret, shopping, socks, thinking, woke

• Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  beautiful, comparison, dog, hot, hot dog, humor, movy, night, relatable, sleep, tossing, turning, women

• Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  bright, dark, day, humor, light, moon, night, opinion, perspective, sun, unpopular, us, useful, usefulness

• Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  bowl, hangover, humor, Monday, morning, night, party, sports, Sunday, super, Super Bowl, toilet, Toilet Bowl, weekend

• I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  company, connection, customer, drunken, drunken shopping, hate, humor, i, me, night, one-night stand, random, relationship, shopping, stand

• I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  benefit, comeback, dance, dance move, enjoy, enjoyment, glass, glasses, health, health benefit, humor, i, move, moves, night, night routine, routine, wine, witty, witty comeback

• I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  beautiful, bed, chicken, humor, i, night, rotisserie, sleep, toss, turn

• A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  act, acting, adult, adults, babysitter, fun, irony, night, night out, responsibility, teenager

All funny night quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌