Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Commentary:
"Imagine the rush of dopamine and surprise, just from being first in line! 💊 Too bad waiting rooms don't come with a 'fast-pass' option…unless you count caffeine as a makeshift substitute! ☕️ #QuickDrawPill"
6 months ago
Share →: Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Commentary:
"Rule number 1 at a concert: Don't be that person belting out your own remix while blocking everyone's view with your phone! 🤳🎤 Let the professionals handle the tunes – you focus on enjoying the show! 🎶😆"
6 months ago
Share →: The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate balance of feline foolishness! 🐱🤪 Bringing two cats into your home is like starting a never-ending comedy duo act. One provides the laughs with its baffling dumb decisions, while the other keeps you on your toes with its perpetual peskiness. It's the perfect recipe for a madcap household! 😂🐾"
6 months ago
Share →: The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Commentary:
"When the playlist drops, but it's a *real* list. 🎶🕺😅 #WhatsInANumber"
6 months ago
Share →: Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Commentary:
"Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to. 🧓📜 Who knew getting older also meant building up your scrolling finger muscles? 💪👴 #AgeIsJustANumber"
6 months ago
Share →: You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Commentary:
Sounds like this guy really doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to agreeing with his wife! 🙈🤣 It must be tough keeping score when you're running out of fingers to count on! 🤷‍♂️😂
6 months ago
Share →: Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Commentary:
"🍎🔮 Looking to order some 'enchanted' apples, are we? Just be careful, you wouldn't want any unexpected side effects! 🧙‍♀️😄"
6 months ago
Share →: For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Commentary:
"Seriously! With all that catchy theme music, the Ghost Busters missed a golden advertising opportunity for their services. Who you gonna call? Apparently, not them! 👻☎️ #MissedOpportunity"
6 months ago
Share →: I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Commentary:
Maybe it's switched to storing random song lyrics or food delivery menus instead! 🧠📱🎶🍔 #EvolutionOfTheBrain
6 months ago
Share →: Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Commentary:
🤣☕️ "Day 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye… Maybe it's time to switch to decaf before we start losing our sense of taste in our elbows too! Hang in there, caffeine withdrawals can be a real eye-opener… literally!" 😂