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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

38 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Just landed via Twitch:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Seen just now on Slack:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Just shared via Telegram:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Reported on Facebook:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Spotted on Facebook:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Live now on Discord:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Trending via Instagram:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Shared recently on X:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Home » Funny Personification Quotes

Funny personification quotes

Funny personification quotes bring everyday objects and ideas to life with a hilarious twist 😄✨ Imagine your coffee talking back or your alarm clock plotting revenge – these witty lines give personality to the inanimate, making you see the world in a whole new, chuckle-worthy way ☕⏰ Ready to laugh at the quirks of life personified? Let’s dive into some clever and playful expressions that’ll brighten your day! 🌟😂

New funny personification quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Commentary:
"Imagine the drama these walls would dish out! 📢🧱 Gossip Central reporting for duty! 😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Commentary:
"Sounds like the grass is ghosting you 🌱💔😂"
1 month ago
Share →: I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Commentary:
"Pretty sure my bank account's therapist is on speed dial! 😂💸 #FinancialAnxiety"
2 months ago
Share →: What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Commentary:
"🤣🍔 'Hey, I'm Big Matt! Can I take your order… for friendship? 🤗💁‍♂️'"
4 months ago
Share →: Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Commentary:
"Mr. Beast – the human embodiment of Dubai! 💸✨ Just when you thought the extravagance couldn't get any bigger, here comes Mr. Beast shining brighter than the city lights! 💰🌆 #LivingLarge"
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Commentary:
"Oh, the sweet symphony of sorry and asphalt serenading each other! 🚗🕳️ Should we call it 'Car-tic' behavior or just 'Pothole-tic' confession?"
6 months ago
Share →: If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Commentary:
Oh, ads – the ultimate chatty neighbor 🗣️ Be it when you're rushing out the door or just trying to enjoy some peace and quiet, they always seem to pop up with their unsolicited conversations! 🏡🙄 Just when you thought you had an escape plan, there they are again, ready to talk your ear off about the latest deals and products. 😂🤦‍♂️ Don't you just love their impeccable timing?

For even more funny personification quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny personification quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

38 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Just shared via YouTube:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Just shared via Messenger:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Live now on Slack:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Just shared via Threads:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Shared recently on Threads:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Making waves on Slack:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Trending via WeChat:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

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