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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,936

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,936

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Going viral on Threads:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Trending via Messenger:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Shared recently on X:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Trending via TikTok:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Seen just now on Threads:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Home » Funny Pet Quotes » Page 2

182 Funny pet quotes

More funny pet quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Commentary:
I too crave the simple life: sunsets, coffee, and riding my dragon to the past for discounted lattes 🐉☕️📚✨
2 days ago
Share →: Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Commentary:
Sounds like a purr-fect plan! 🐱🏡😸
2 days ago
Share →: Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Commentary:
Imagine if they started critiquing their own angles—"Really, another one of my nap face?" 🐾📱😂
1 week ago
Share →: Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Commentary:
When flies act like they're auditioning for a soap opera, buzzing in with drama and leaving with a flair for the overdramatic 😂🪰🚪
2 weeks ago
Share →: I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Commentary:
When your cat's meow turns into a TED Talk 😸🎤✨
2 weeks ago
Share →: Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Commentary:
When you realize your dog has a self-destruct mode 😂💥🐕
2 weeks ago
Share →: You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Commentary:
When your cat has achieved boss-level status, but you haven't 😂🐱👑
2 weeks ago
Share →: Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Commentary:
Paws before you scare! 😅🐶🚶‍♂️🛑
2 weeks ago
Share →: I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Commentary:
Trying to stay calm while someone chews next to me is my new extreme sport 🤣🤯🍽️
2 weeks ago
Share →: With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Commentary:
Cats: the original stress ball, but with purring! 🐱💆‍♂️✨

For even more funny pet quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Making waves on Discord:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Spotted on Telegram:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Just shared via Slack:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Trending via Instagram:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Trending via Slack:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

182 Funny pet quotes

More funny pet quotes 👇

For even more funny pet quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Activity Log ✨

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