39 Funny pets quotes

• Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

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  5 days ago

  alone, asking, bastards, dumb, forgetfulness, humor, know, lazy, lazy pet, living, living alone, never, pet, pets, phone, seen, talking, talking to pet

• I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

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  6 days ago

  cake, complaint, expense, expensive, fat, humor, i, life, lived, longer, people, pet, pets, weight, wish

• My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

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  1 week ago

  another, asking, chores, dog, family, feed, humor, humor about pets, i, kids, parenting, pet, pets, responsibility, walk

• Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

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  1 week ago

  cat, cats, follow, humor, i, Litterboxd, oh, pets, should

• Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

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  1 week ago

  animals, government, humor, moment, pets, sarcasm, talk, tax

• One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

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  1 week ago

  animal, great, happiness, humor, joy, life, little, looking, observation, pet, pets, teeth, weird

• Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

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  2 weeks ago

  animals, coincidence, companionship, everyone, humor, love, pets, talk

• I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

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  2 weeks ago

  cat, communication, dogs, fetch, humor, i, internet, irony, newspapers, pets, sorry, technology

• Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

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  2 weeks ago

  animals, God, humor, know, much, pets, secrets, talk, thank, thank God, too

• Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

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  2 weeks ago

  big, celebration, day, dogs, doorbell, excitement, Halloween, lose, love, pets, reaction, rings, shit

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