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35 Funny pets quotes

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

2 months ago

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

3 months ago

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

3 months ago

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

3 months ago

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

3 months ago

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

3 months ago

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

3 months ago

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

3 months ago

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

3 months ago

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

3 months ago

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

3 months ago

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

3 months ago

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

3 months ago

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

3 months ago

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

3 months ago

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

3 months ago

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

3 months ago

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

3 months ago

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

3 months ago

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

3 months ago