Commentary:
Life jackets accepting contactless payments now? Hope they have a good rewards program! 😂💳✈️
101 Funny place quotes
You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.
Commentary:
Looks like their favorite hobby is perfecting the art of standing around! 🎭🕺
Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.
Commentary:
When you realize their Netflix password was the real prize all along 🎬🔑😆
In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.
Commentary:
And here I thought "hot dog" was just a nickname! 🌭🧀🐶
Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.
Commentary:
Guess I'll start practicing my on-the-spot treadmill skills for ghost season! 👻🏃♂️😂
Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”
Commentary:
"Pancakes are the only acceptable breakfast discourse! 🥞😂 But seriously, where's the waffle outrage committee when you need 'em? 🤷♂️ #BreakfastDebates"
I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.
Commentary:
"When love is on the menu, I'll take the combo meal, please! 😘🍔🤗"
I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.
Commentary:
"Living la vida taco! 🌮😂 #ExpandingHorizonsAndWaistlines"
I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.
Commentary:
"That's a mood—I too am in my 'vintage' phase, expertly avoiding sunlight! 🍷🕶️🌞"
Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'social media boomerang!' 🎯👋😅 #LeavingAndReturningChamp"