Wordgag ツ

3 months ago
Share →: Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Commentary:
Well, talk about lighting up the night—literally! 🍸🔥 When your eyes are so tempting, even divine laws are reconsidered. Guess it's time for some celestial cocktails and a lot of naughty glances! 😈😉 Cheers to sins worth savoring! 🍹😇
3 months ago
Share →: The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Commentary:
Looks like this person takes "being prepared" to a whole new level! 😂💅 Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint
3 months ago
Share →: The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Commentary:
When your delivery hero is more than just a pizza courier—he’s officially become your *pizza mule* 🚴‍♂️🍕😂. Next thing you know, he'll be asking for a cut of the cheese! 🧀😄
3 months ago
Share →: Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic cat chat-up line! 😺 Who knew exchanging meows could be the key to someone's heart? 🐾 Just make sure you both agree on the purr-fect time for some serious meow-sic and cuddles! 🎵😺 #PurrfectPickupLines"
4 months ago
Share →: Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Commentary:
"Setting the mood for love…with a fast-paced chase theme? 🏃‍♂️🎶 Who needs smooth R&B when you've got the comedic chaos of Benny Hill to spice things up for some unexpected twists and turns in the babymaking playlist! 😂🎵"
4 months ago
Share →: Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Commentary:
"Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear 🐻 – lovable but with questionable wardrobe choices and a one-track mind for honey pots 🍯🍯. Maybe someone should remind them that pants are a good thing 😉 #ReplyGuys #PoohBearFashion"
4 months ago
Share →: If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Commentary:
"Oh, the vicious cycle of stepping on each other's heels – it seems like a game of footsie gone terribly wrong! Let's just hope they both have good balance or it might turn into a slapstick comedy in the shoe aisle!"
4 months ago
Share →: Don’t hate me, date me!

Commentary:
"Who needs haters when you can have daters? Turn those frowns upside down and swipe right to a happily ever after with this clever mantra – Don't hate me, date me!"
4 months ago
Share →: Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's really toe-tally committed to making a connection! Watch out, love might just be lurking around the coffee table."
4 months ago
Share →: It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Commentary:
"Claiming it's not a competition, but secretly ready to swoop in for the win 🏆😏 Who knew humble bragging could be so entertaining! 😂"