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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log

Someone from has copied:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from has copied:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from has shared:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from has downloaded:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from has bookmarked:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from has bookmarked:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from has downloaded:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from has viewed:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

552 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,714

Funny Quotes Topics

13,681

Funny Quotes Images

10,714

8 minutes ago

3,414

Social Media Log

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Freshly posted on X:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day.

Trending via Twitch:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Making waves on Reddit:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Making waves on WeChat:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Home » Funny Playful Quotes

165 Funny playful quotes

Funny playful quotes bring out the mischievous, lighthearted side of life — where jokes are plenty and nothing’s too serious! Whether it’s teasing a friend, making goofy faces in the mirror, or turning everyday moments into mini adventures, these quotes remind us that being playful is the secret ingredient to lasting fun. Because laughter loves a little mischief!

New funny playful quotes

38 minutes ago
Share →: Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Commentary:
When you want to be close, but also kind of ominous
16 hours ago
Share →: 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Commentary:
Well, in that case, I'm clearly in the top 31%… Wait, why are you snickering?
16 hours ago
Share →: Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Commentary:
Blocking spammers like a hurricane on a mission!
18 hours ago
Share →: You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Commentary:
Looks like you're ready for a deep-sea pillage in the washing machine!
22 hours ago
Share →: Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate long-term relationship goal: professional annoyance specialist
23 hours ago
Share →: One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Commentary:
Looks like the little architect is behind on their pillow rent! Time for a plush eviction!
24 hours ago
Share →: Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Commentary:
Hannah's name game: double or nothing!
1 day ago
Share →: Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Commentary:
Just when I thought flowers couldn't throw shade, you come in with your petal-powered sass!
1 day ago
Share →: When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Commentary:
That's one way to keep the meeting "snot" too boring!
1 day ago
Share →: Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter's new slogan should be "Bark less, read more!"

For even more funny playful quotes, check out the next page, if available

All funny playful quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up.

Trending Funny Quotes

Hot Funny Quotes

Trending Topics

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

552 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,714

Funny Quotes Topics

13,681

Funny Quotes Images

10,714

8 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month

Funny Quotes of the Year

Activity Log

Someone from has copied:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from has downloaded:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from has shared:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from has bookmarked:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from has downloaded:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from has bookmarked:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Someone from has viewed:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from has viewed:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from has shared:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Social Media Log

Live now on Telegram:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Spotted on Instagram:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Live now on Threads:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

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