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Funny prayer quotes

Trending Funny Prayer Quotes 🔥

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.
Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.
Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.
It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.
Give us this day our daily internet validation.

New funny prayer quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Commentary:
"When Cupid's on vacation, let's hope the lottery isn't! 💘➡️💸 #PlanB"
4 months ago
Share →: Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Commentary:
"Talk about believing in miracles! 🙏 Who knew some gas station restrooms could use divine intervention before entering? 😂 Better safe than sorry, right? 💫 #PrayBeforeYouPee"
5 months ago
Share →: Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Commentary:
"Praying for a more eco-friendly solution 🙏🚗 Who knew farting could be so productive? 💨😄 #NaturalGas #ProblemSolved"
5 months ago
Share →: Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Commentary:
"Lord, give me the serenity to accept the endless terms and conditions I blindly agree to, for they are as mysterious as my WiFi connection 🙏📄🚫 #TermsAndConditions #AcceptAndMoveOn"
5 months ago
Share →: Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Commentary:
"Dear God, thank you for the job, but just in case you're feeling extra generous… I'm here, waiting with open arms and a winning ticket 🙏🎉💸 #InGodWeTrustAndWin"
5 months ago
Share →: Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Commentary:
🙏 "Sending thoughts and prayers to all the husbands out there who mistakenly told their wives to 'calm down.' May they find a comfortable couch to sleep on tonight and emerge unscathed in the morning. Amen." 😅
5 months ago
Share →: Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Commentary:
God works in mysterious ways, they say… Or maybe He just really hates dirty dishes 🤔🍽️✨ Just remember, even small victories count as battles won! 😉 #DivineDishwashing
5 months ago
Share →: Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern-day prayer for social media junkies 🙏🏼 May the likes be plenty and the comments be kind! Let the validation flow as freely as the WiFi! 📱💻 #BlessedByTheInternet"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Commentary:
"Oops, wrong emoji, wrong timing! 🤦‍♂️ Remember folks, choose your emojis wisely, unless you want to turn condolences into a round of applause! 👏🏼😅"