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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Shared recently on Reddit:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Spotted on Twitch:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Spreading quickly via X:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Trending via Reddit:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Making waves on Instagram:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

22 Funny prayer quotes

Funny prayer quotes bring a smile to your day while blending faith and humor in the best way 🙏😂 Whether you need a little divine laughter or just a lighthearted moment to brighten your spirit, these witty words add joy to reflection and remind us that even prayers can have a playful side 😇🤣 Get ready to chuckle and feel uplifted all at once!

New funny prayer quotes 👇

For even more funny prayer quotes, hit next 👇

All funny prayer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Slack this month:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

76 shares on Slack this month:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

We’ve got a shituation here.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

100 shares on X this month:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,500

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Going viral on Messenger:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Breaking via Messenger:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Shared recently on Facebook:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Just shared via Twitch:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Just landed via Slack:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Spotted on X:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Live now on Reddit:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

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