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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,886

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Going viral on TikTok:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Just shared via Discord:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Live now on Snapchat:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Home » Funny Present Quotes

21 Funny present quotes

Funny present quotes 🎁 add that extra sparkle ✨ to gift-giving moments! Whether you’re wrapping up a quirky surprise or just want to tickle someone’s funny bone 😂, these witty gems make every present unforgettable. Ready to level up your gifting game with laughs and smiles? Let’s dive into the world of humor and heartfelt fun! 🎉🎈

New funny present quotes 👇

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

0

2 days ago

Christmas, Christmas present, gift, gift opening, humor, milk, opening, present, remember, said, while, wife
A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

0

4 days ago

birth, birth year, Christmas, Christmas present, consider, floor, gentle, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, present, presents, reminder, should, table, wrap, wrapping, year
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

0

1 week ago

everyone, excited, excitement, gift, giving, holiday, humor, opinion, present, presents, sarcasm, year
Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

0

3 weeks ago

buying, Christmas, holiday, honesty, i, least, liar, present, presents, relationship, single
“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

0

3 weeks ago

buying, Christmas, holiday, humor, i, myself, present, presents, procrastination, self-gift, shopping, stage, start, where
The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

0

4 weeks ago

best, failing, forgetfulness, gift, having, humor, memory, open, present, presents, self-gift, surprise, time, wrap, yourself
Microdosing Christmas by being present.

0

1 month ago

being, Christmas, holiday, humor, microdosing, mindfulness, presence, present
My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

0

2 months ago

absence, absent, dad, family, humor, identity, presence, present, relationship, secret, thing, third
Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, machine, mindfulness, presence, present, right, science, set, time, time machine, time travel, travel, trying
The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

0

2 months ago

bigger, even, failure, forget, humor, humor quote, irony, learning, life, mistake, mistakes, only, past, present

For even more funny present quotes, hit next 👇

All funny present quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Discord this month:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

80 shares on Slack this month:

I will sit in the rain about this.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,757

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Shared recently on Twitch:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Trending via Threads:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Trending via Discord:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Shared recently on Threads:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Trending via Telegram:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

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