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2 months ago
Share →: When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! Surely scrolling through memes and binge-watching shows at home doesn't count! 🙈👩‍💻 Who knew "work" screen time was the real enemy here? 💼⏰ Time to put in those hours of relaxation with some quality screen time therapy! 📺🍿 #ScreenTimeRules
3 months ago
Share →: I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal quest for crucial life data! 📊🥜🍞 Just imagine having a dedicated stats screen for essential metrics like toastiness levels of English Muffins or the precise ratio of peanut butter to muffin! 🤔📈 If only there was a dashboard that could quantify our culinary adventures in such delicious detail! 🥪🤓 #SnackStatsGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Commentary:
🌑💡 "When dark mode is life, a sudden burst of brightness feels like a solar eclipse on your retinas! 🕶️😂 Who needs sunglasses when you've got a monitor set to 'night mode' all day, every day? Embrace the darkness, it's where the cool kids are at! 😎🌚"
5 months ago
Share →: Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of hydration vs. screen addiction 🌊📱 Who needs self-control when you have Netflix, am I right? 😜 Someone pass me a water bottle and a remote, stat! 💦📺"
5 months ago
Share →: Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Commentary:
"Talk about not even fooling your own phone! 📱😂 Looks like their lockscreens are the real MVPs detecting that fakeness! 😜 #Can'tFakeIt"
5 months ago
Share →: Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Commentary:
"Ah, the epic saga of two fleshy beings in the age of digital communication! One bag of flesh eagerly awaits symbols on the glowing screen, while the other bag of flesh is out there living life unbothered. 🤔💬📱 #ModernStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Commentary:
"Excessive screen time causing brain damage? Well, guess it's time to add 'professional multitasker' to the resume! 🧠💥📱 #BrainsAreOverrated"
5 months ago
Share →: Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Commentary:
"Me: I'll get to that important task right after I finish deleting all these lock screen screenshots… 📸🔒💥#ProcrastinationGameStrong"
5 months ago
Share →: Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Commentary:
"Parenting tip of the day: Forget textbooks, just hand over the iPad! 📱👦👧 Who needs math when your kid could be gearing up to battle cyborgs in the future anyway? 🤖💥 #ParentingWin #CyborgFighters"
5 months ago
Share →: On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've come a long way from the 'good ol' days' when folks needed a giant 'The End' sign to figure out the movie was finished 🤣📽️ It's a relief to know we're evolving… one cinema experience at a time!"