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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,037

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Spotted on WeChat:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Freshly posted on X:

Caveman: I just invented the wheel. Journalist: Here’s why the wheel is bad for humanity.

Spotted on YouTube:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Going viral on Slack:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Just shared via Slack:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Home » Funny Simple Quotes

20 Funny simple quotes

Funny simple quotes bring a burst of laughter and lightness to your day 😄✨ They’re the perfect little nuggets of joy that turn ordinary moments into memorable smiles 😜 Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or a clever way to brighten your feed, these witty gems keep things fun and fresh 🎉📲 Get ready to chuckle and share the good vibes!

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All funny simple quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

The shitshow must go on.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,885

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Trending via YouTube:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Shared recently on Threads:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Shared recently on X:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Just shared via Discord:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

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