Funny sober quotes

• Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

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  1 week ago

  alcohol, bad, bad choice, better, choice, decision, decision making, decisions, drink, drink humor, drunk, drunk decision, humor, i, making, ones, self-deprecation, sober, sober decision, sure

• Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

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  1 week ago

  addiction, being, easier, humor, i, lot, myself, reflection, self-acceptance, self-esteem, sober, struggle

• You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

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  2 weeks ago

  both, cat, just, love, morning, much, sober, sun, told, weird

• Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

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  3 weeks ago

  bad, bad decision, better, choices, decision, decisions, drunk, honesty, humor, i, say, self-awareness, sober, yes

• Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

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  3 weeks ago

  beautiful, fun, humor, irony, just, laughter, life, sober

• Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

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  3 weeks ago

  advice, asking, custom, humor, professionalism, raise, remember, sober, workplace

• My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

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  3 weeks ago

  age, doing, excuses, humor, i, moods, old, reluctance, sober, time, tired

• Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

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  3 weeks ago

  always, drunk, keep, mouth, shut, sober, teach

• Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

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  3 weeks ago

  availability, behavior, conversation, drinking, drunk, emotional, emotional availability, emotionally, humor, i, me, please, sober, social, social behavior, stop, talking, taxi, unavailable, why

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