519 Funny someone quotes

• Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

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  1 week ago

  character, choices, food, humor, i, irony, pizza, say, slice, someone, something, sometimes, trust, unexpected

• Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

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  1 week ago

  challenge, challenges, computer, control, differently, doing, else, frustration, humor, life, someone, watch, watching

• Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

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  1 week ago

  across, always, aspiration, bus, disappear, goal, goals, humor, i, interview, interviewer, joke, me, meant, professional, professional goal, someone, stare, street, wanted

• Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

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  1 week ago

  call, communication, course, distraction, example, humor, i, irony, me, mobile, put, someone, technology, time

• I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

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  1 week ago

  character, even, humor, i, irony, love, narrative, perspective, someone, story, tell, version, villain

• Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

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  1 week ago

  30, answer, asked, bottle, conversation, date, drinking, humor, i, me, minutes, much, response, right, social, someone, spend, spending, time, wine

• I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

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  1 week ago

  always, bad, bad connection, board, board game, card, card game, connection, explain, explanation, game, head, humor, i, me, misunderstanding, someone

• As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

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  1 week ago

  August, birthday, born, humor, i, leotard, offensive, someone, word

• The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

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  1 week ago

  again, back, back on, humor, reset, should, someone, technology, troubleshooting, turn, turn off, universe, working

• Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

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  1 week ago

  6, absurdity, butter, cooking, food, humor, level, level 6, mood, someone, toaster, tonight

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