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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Just landed via Reddit:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Trending via Messenger:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Live now on TikTok:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Freshly posted on X:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

21 Funny son quotes

Funny son quotes bring laughter and joy to every parent’s day 😄🎉 From mischievous moments to heartwarming silliness, these witty words capture the unique bond between moms, dads, and their little troublemakers 👦💙 Ready for some giggles and relatable fun? Dive into these playful gems that celebrate all the chaos and love that comes with having a son! 🚀✨

New funny son quotes 👇

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

0

3 weeks ago

apologize, apology, communication, delay, family, future, future son, humor, i, just, mom, relationship, reply, replying, son, texting

Someone from 🇹🇳 has recently bookmarked this quote.

78 shares on Twitch this month.
My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

0

1 month ago

blessing, fortune, good, good fortune, gratitude, humor, prayer, praying, son, start, welcome, wish, world

Someone from 🇦🇿 has recently bookmarked this quote.

100 shares on Instagram this month.
Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

0

2 months ago

chore, dishwasher, excuse, humor, just, parenting, please, pray, prayer, son, tired, unloading, yesterday

Someone from 🇱🇾 has recently shared this quote.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month.
My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

0

2 months ago

accomplishment, comedy, culture, done, family, fan, here, humor, monty, Monty Python, parenting, pop, pop culture, python, son, work

Someone from 🇲🇨 has recently bookmarked this quote.

92 shares on WeChat this month.
Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, every, family, food, funny thought, grape, hear, humor, humor about food, imagination, imagine, soft, son, thought, time, voice, whisper

Someone from 🇳🇦 has recently bookmarked this quote.

103 shares on X this month.
That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

0

2 months ago

all eyes, awkward, awkward moment, bride, eyes, family, groom, humor, moment, son, wedding

Someone from 🇧🇩 has recently bookmarked this quote.

66 shares on Facebook this month.
Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

0

2 months ago

achievement, award, bravery, cut, eat, fact, food, humor, i, parenting, son, struggle, toast

Someone from 🇻🇳 has recently shared this quote.

55 shares on Instagram this month.
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

0

2 months ago

diaper, getting, group, guy, just, okay, people, pooping, ridiculous, son

Someone from 🇳🇦 has recently copied this quote.

78 shares on Facebook this month.
If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, came, ever, family, fashion, furious, gay, humor, ID, me, never, relationship, son

Someone from 🇵🇼 has recently shared this quote.

80 shares on Instagram this month.
On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

0

2 months ago

Axe, dare, deodorant, humor, mishap, mouth, parenting, scent, son

Someone from 🇩🇰 has recently bookmarked this quote.

39 shares on Twitch this month.

For even more funny son quotes, hit next 👇

All funny son quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on X this month:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

37 shares on X this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

27 shares on Discord this month:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Spotted on Telegram:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Broadcasted on X:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Seen just now on Slack:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Broadcasted on X:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Trending via X:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Making waves on Messenger:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

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