84 Funny thinking quotes

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  5 months ago

  View →: Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.
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  5 months ago

  View →: After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?
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  5 months ago

  View →: The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).
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  5 months ago

  View →: Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.
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  5 months ago

  View →: If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.
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  5 months ago

  View →: 90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
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  5 months ago

  View →: The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

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