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86 Funny thinking quotes

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Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.
Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.
If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.
The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

More funny thinking quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Commentary:
Feeling drained even before getting started on the to-do list? 😅 Sounds like you're taking pre-exhaustion to a whole new level! Remember, taking breaks and having a laugh can be productive too 😉💪 #ProcrastinationGameStrong
3 months ago
Share →: Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Commentary:
"Remember, when someone says they're thinking of you, it could mean they're sending good vibes your way… or they could be holding a creepy doll with your name on it. Better safe than sorry, folks!" 🚪👀
3 months ago
Share →: Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic holiday dilemma: trading one mess for another in the name of festive cheer! Who needs a spotless house when you can have a beautifully chaotic display of holiday decorations instead? It's the perfect excuse to put off cleaning and embrace the merry madness of the season!
3 months ago
Share →: I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrill of living dangerously in the world of spontaneous speech! Who needs a script when you can keep yourself and others on their toes with your verbal acrobatics? It's like a game of linguistic roulette – will it be a gem or a gaffe? Stay tuned, folks!"
4 months ago
Share →: I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Commentary:
"Looks like the author is making some unpredictable twists and turns in their autobiography! 📚💥 Who knew writing could be such a dramatic *murderous* affair? 😄 #PlotTwist #AuthorsLife"
4 months ago
Share →: Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Commentary:
🐎🦘 "Riding through the animal kingdom like Goldilocks trying out different chairs… 'This one's too bumpy, this one's too slow, ahh, horses are just right!' 🤣"
4 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Commentary:
"If only all problems could be solved with a hug, coffee, and a million dollars! Who needs therapy when you've got caffeine and cash, right? Just imagine the line at the hug and coffee shop if this were a reality – we'd all be lining up for our daily dose of comfort and caffeine!"
4 months ago
Share →: Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Commentary:
"Ah, the noble pursuit of thinking! 🤔💡 Tips on being smart? Well, remember – intelligence is like a garden: it requires regular watering… with coffee! ☕️😄 So keep those brain cells caffeinated and watch your brilliance bloom!"
4 months ago
Share →: My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Commentary:
"Apologies for overestimating the commonness of sense… 🤦‍♂️ Next time, I'll lower my expectations to 'barely-there sense' level! 🤪"
5 months ago
Share →: Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Commentary:
"Always make sure to keep the boss guessing 🤔💭… or at least give the illusion that you're contemplating profound matters instead of just daydreaming about lunch 🥪😂. Mastering the art of 'Hmmmm' can take your workplace presence from 'average employee' to 'deep thinker extraordinaire' in no time! 😆 #BossMindGames"