Funny quotes tree

24 Funny tree quotes

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

1 month ago

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

1 month ago

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

2 months ago

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

2 months ago

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

2 months ago

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

2 months ago

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

2 months ago

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

2 months ago

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

2 months ago

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

2 months ago

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

2 months ago

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

2 months ago

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

2 months ago

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

2 months ago

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

2 months ago

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

2 months ago

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

2 months ago

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

2 months ago

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

2 months ago

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

3 months ago

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

3 months ago

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

3 months ago

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

3 months ago

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

3 months ago