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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Making waves on X:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Making waves on Instagram:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Just shared via Discord:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Live now on Slack:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Going viral on Reddit:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

44 Funny tree quotes

Funny tree quotes 🌳😂 are the perfect way to leaf your worries behind and branch out into laughter! Whether you’re a nature lover or just need a little woodsy wit, these quirky sayings will spruce up your day. Get ready to root for more chuckles and enjoy some tree-mendously funny vibes! 🌲🤣🍃

New funny tree quotes 👇

For even more funny tree quotes, hit next 👇

All funny tree quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

38 shares on Discord this month:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

91 shares on Slack this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

61 shares on WeChat this month:

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

82 shares on Discord this month:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This alien invasion could have been an email.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not in a good place, geographically.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Trending via Instagram:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Breaking via Twitch:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Going bananas on Slack:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Spotted on Discord:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

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