28 Funny truth quotes

Trending Funny Truth Quotes 🔥

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.
Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.
When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.
If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.
If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

More funny truth quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Commentary:
Ah, Twitter – the magical land of 🌈unicorns and 🌟rainbows, where facts are as solid as a marshmallow and kindness flows like a river of emojis. Remember, in this enchanted realm, even the trolls have hearts of gold! ✨💖🦄 #KeepingItRealOnTwitter
5 months ago
Share →: Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Commentary:
Absolutely! Here's a playful take on that quote:

"Just imagine the world if Pinocchio's nose rule applied! 🤥👃📏 We'd have a forest of noses sprouting up faster than you can say 'fib'! 🌳😂 Who needs lie detectors when we have lying noses to give us away? 🚫🤥👃 #TruthTellersUnite"
5 months ago
Share →: Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Commentary:
Oh, the audacity! 🤣 "Go home," they said, as if it's the ultimate dare! 🏡 Can you handle the intensity of such a challenge? 💪 Are you prepared to face the ultimate showdown of comfort and relaxation? 🤔 Take a deep breath, brace yourself, and embark on the daring quest back to your sanctuary! 🚀🛋️
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Commentary:
"Please don't try and pull the nostalgia card on me. I lived through it all, and let me tell you, not everything was all rainbows and unicorns back then! 🌈🦄 #BeenThereDoneThat"
5 months ago
Share →: My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Commentary:
"Who else feels misled by our childhood expectations? I was fully prepared for a life of dodging secret passageways, but all I got was the ol' weight gain and existential dread combo deal 🤷‍♂️🔮 Keep calm and watch out for that quicksand, folks! It might just be disguised as your daily responsibilities 😉 #AdultingProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, let's bring out the unfiltered, unapologetic truth-tellers! 📢🤭 Who needs subtlety and filters anyway? 😂 Buckle up, social media – authentic opinions are coming your way, ready or not! 🚀💥 #NoHoldingBack"
5 months ago
Share →: Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless strategy of deception for success – seems like some people take it to heart a little too enthusiastically! 🤥💼👨‍💼 Just remember, honesty is still the best policy…unless you have political ambitions, apparently! 🏛️🤣 #TruthIsOptional
5 months ago
Share →: When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Commentary:
"Saving myself for marriage… or just saving you from discovering my true level of annoyance 🤷‍♀️💍 Beware, the surprise awaits! 😂 #KeepingItReal"
5 months ago
Share →: There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'fun for the whole family' clearly never had teenagers 🙄👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's more like 'chaos for the whole clan'! 😂 #FamilyFun"
5 months ago
Share →: Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Commentary:
📱 "Oh, cell phone, you sly little device! Ignored calls sound much better than missed calls, don't they? It's all about perspective, right? 😅 Maybe they should invent a 'Sorry, I'm avoiding you' button for those times we just need some space. 🙊"