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52 Funny water quotes

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

3 months ago

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

3 months ago

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

3 months ago

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

3 months ago

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

3 months ago

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

3 months ago

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

3 months ago

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

3 months ago

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

3 months ago

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

3 months ago

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

3 months ago

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

3 months ago

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

3 months ago

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

3 months ago

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

3 months ago

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

3 months ago

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

3 months ago

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

3 months ago

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

3 months ago

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

3 months ago