Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Live now on TikTok:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Shared recently on Discord:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Live now on WeChat:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Just landed via Twitch:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Live now on X:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

More funny quotes 👇

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

0

5 months ago

atheist, belief, humor, prayer, prayers, religion, send, skepticism, thought, thoughts
If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

0

5 months ago

always, food, full, humor, i, name, nickname, pasta, think, wordplay
This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

0

5 months ago

after, cost, cost of living, faith, humor, Jesus, joke, life, life cost, living, paid, payment, religion
Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

0

5 months ago

bend, bending, bending over, humor, invention, men, over, pool, pool table, table, tables, watch
They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

0

5 months ago

album, commentary, conspiracy, Epstein, humor, list, music, phone, phones, send, should, social, social commentary, u2, U2 album
I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

0

5 months ago

chill, ever, everyone, feel, feeling, humor, i, know, me, need, revenge, therapy, why, wronged
Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

0

5 months ago

bed, bullshit, chores, daily, daily life, every, frustration, humor, i, life, morning, routine, single, things
If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

0

5 months ago

again, determination, door, going, humor, just, motivation, open, persistence
I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

0

5 months ago

cheating, chili, concert, day, emotional, emotional pain, ever, feel, found, heartbreak, hot, i, me, music, pain, pepper, red, Red Hot Chili Pepper, relationship, wife
I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

0

5 months ago

attitude, believe, desire, honesty, humor, i, motivation, phrase, truth, want, wanted, willpower

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

72 shares on Instagram this month:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

52 shares on Facebook this month:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

53 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Live now on Discord:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Just shared via Reddit:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Just landed via Twitch:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Seen just now on X:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Live now on Snapchat:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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