Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Going viral on Threads:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Breaking via Twitch:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Just landed via Twitch:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Trending via Messenger:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Seen just now on X:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

More funny quotes 👇

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

0

5 days ago

hope, humor, i, kiss, kissing, lips, longing, miss, missing, next, relationship, romantic, wish, year
“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

0

5 days ago

bed, bed size, beds, couple, couples, divorce, divorce rate, interested, king, king bed, marriage, queen, queen bed, rate, relationship, size, sleep
Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

0

5 days ago

cost, flight, JetBlue, Miami, NYC, price, ride, ride share, rides, same, share, transportation, travel, travel cost, Uber
“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

0

5 days ago

bacteria, biology, complex, complexity, diversity, gut, gut microbiome, health, humor, joke, just, mad, microbiology, microbiome, science, science joke, yours
Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

0

5 days ago

actually, AI, back, ChatGPT, dumb, dumb take, humor, intelligence, just, otherwise, sarcasm, smart, take, technology, using
That urge to nap between 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. is no joke.

0

5 days ago

3, 5, afternoon, joke, nap, time, urge
You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

0

5 days ago

acquaintance, again, casual, casual acquaintance, chill, day, interaction, life, lol, never, social, social interaction, someone, university, whole
25 is the new 0 years old.

0

5 days ago

25, age, birthday, celebration, humor, milestone, new, number, old, youth
They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

0

5 days ago

biography, biopic, guy, humor, just, movie, random, random guy, satire, should
I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

0

6 days ago

absolutely, anti-social, being, doing, doing nothing, home, humor, i, laziness, love, never, nothing, procrastination, relaxation, society

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Threads this month:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

31 shares on YouTube this month:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

18 shares on Discord this month:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Going bananas on Messenger:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Spotted on Reddit:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Spotted on Telegram:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Making waves on Threads:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Trending via Discord:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Going viral on TikTok:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Live now on Instagram:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨