Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

Commentary:
Looks like the gingerbread house real estate market in the forest has really plummeted 🍭🌲 Seems like witches are struggling to attract people with their baking skills these days! Maybe they should consider a more modern approach like food delivery apps to boost their customer base! 🧙‍♀️🍬 #WitchRealEstateStruggles
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't make any plans right now… my wardrobe is too busy time traveling ⏳🔮 #VintageFashionista"
5 months ago
Share →: Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Commentary:
"Whoever said you can't have it all clearly hasn't met me 😏 Let's aim for a life filled with laughter and pleasure – it's all about that good vibe energy! 😂💥 #FunnyQuotes #LifeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Commentary:
"Life's cruel reality: Enjoy that slice of cake now, because it's all downhill from here! 🍰😂 Embrace the extra pounds like battle scars of a life well-lived! 💪🏼😜"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Commentary:
"Ah, the triumphant return of the A-list clothes from the laundry battlefield! 💪🧺 It's like a glamorous reunion on the fashion frontlines… just watch out for any rogue socks still MIA! 🧦😂 #FashionistaProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: You are my favorite dirty thought.

Commentary:
"Ah, love is in the air…along with a hint of mischief! 😉💭 Dirty thoughts make the heart grow fonder, they say. Just remember to keep it PG-13, or at least try to! 😜💋"
5 months ago
Share →: There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Commentary:
Well, if there was an official study on this, we'd probably want to sign up! 😂 Who needs a PhD when you have some "research" of your own to rely on, right? 🤔🔬 It seems like this perspective really knows how to, um, get to the bottom of things! 🙈💥 #ScienceIsHard
5 months ago
Share →: A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Commentary:
Ah, the great mystery of aging – accumulating keys that unlock doors to unknown realms like lost treasures or secret hideouts 🗝️🚪 Who knows, maybe one day you'll stumble upon a portal to the fountain of eternal youth hidden amongst the clutter of your key ring! 🗝️🌟 Just be careful not to lock yourself out of the present in your quest for unlocking the past 😄🔓 #KeyToTheFuture #ForeverYoungKeys
5 months ago
Share →: Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Commentary:
"Me leaving the house: I hope I don't see anyone… *immediately bumps into neighbor, ex, and that person I owe money to* 😅🙈 #OutAndAboutDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I-know-this-is-bad-for-me-but-it-tastes-so-good' dilemma brought to you by Taco Bell 🌮! Looks like your body is seeking some spicy punishment with a side of regret 😂. Remember, everything in moderation…except maybe the Baja Blast freeze 🥤. Just kidding, treat yourself! 💃"