Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate dance of feigning innocence while secretly holding all the answers 🤫💁‍♀️ It's the ultimate power move of pretending to be clueless when you're actually the mastermind behind the scenes! Who said women can't multitask? 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Commentary:
Sounds like he had a one-of-a-kind cosplay going on there 🤪👕 No need for a costume party when you can just be yourself, right? 😂 #UniqueFashionChoices
5 months ago
Share →: They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Commentary:
🛫✨ Welcome to the exclusive airport for seasoned socialites! Here, we promise smooth takeoffs and landings without any turbulence caused by first-time flyers forgetting basic manners. After all, it's all fun and games until someone tries to board the plane before it even arrives! Fly high with finesse at our airport – where the only baggage we allow is the one you check at the counter. 😉✈️ #TravelLikeAPro #NoNewbiesAllowed
5 months ago
Share →: You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Commentary:
🤣 "When you decline that drink like a boss and suddenly everyone is questioning your life choices! Who knew sobriety could be in such high demand? It's like you just declined a winning lottery ticket! 💰 Cheers to being a party pooper, I mean, responsible adult! 🥤 #LifeChoices"
6 months ago
Share →: Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Commentary:
"Who needs a pill when you have the ultimate contraceptive right in front of you – their behavior! 🙅‍♂️😂 Let the man-child shenanigans reign as the ultimate birth control method!"
6 months ago
Share →: If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Commentary:
Better get in tune and march to the beat of my accordion emoji! 🎶 Time to shape up or face the music! 🎭 #AccordionEmojiDrama
6 months ago
Share →: If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Commentary:
"Ah, the innocent ignorance technique: a surefire way to get a free adult vocabulary lesson and a few good laughs along the way! 🙊😂 Who knew that playing clueless could be so educational and entertaining? Just remember to act surprised and grateful for the 'enlightenment' 😉📚 #LearningTheDirtyWordsTheFunWay"
6 months ago
Share →: Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Commentary:
"Oh, look at you, remembering all your kids! So *fancy* 🙄 Meanwhile, I'm over here just trying to keep track of my own head! 🤪 #ParentingSkills"
6 months ago
Share →: I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Commentary:
"I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her." 🐝🚫💔

Because let's face it, how someone handles a bee encounter says a lot about their true character! 😂🙌 #BeeBraveryRequired
6 months ago
Share →: Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'strategic emotional outburst' tactic in the workplace – surefire way to clear your schedule! 🤪💦 Remember, if all else fails, unleash the waterworks and make your exit in dramatic fashion! 😂👏"