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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Shared recently on X:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Breaking via Messenger:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Seen just now on TikTok:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Going viral on Facebook:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Going viral on Twitch:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Reported on X:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Making waves on X:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Reported on Slack:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Just shared via Threads:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Making waves on Threads:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Trending via Telegram:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

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