171 Funny call quotes

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

  Commentary:
  When your life's been sponsored by Anxiety Inc., and you're now on the "Oops, I Ghosted You" tour 🙈📞🎭

• 

  4 days ago

  Share →: So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking News: Fact checkers discover the news was supposed to have facts all along! 🎤🐸📺"

• 

  7 days ago

  Share →: I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

  Commentary:
  Dreams really do come true; too bad my friends won't pay me for my professional couch-warming services! 🛋️😴🔥

• 

  7 days ago

  Share →: I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

  Commentary:
  When you know you're the life of the party but also the head of the bedtime committee 😂🛏️🎉

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

  Commentary:
  When life gives you telemarketers, give them a taste of their own menu! 🤣☎️ Press 1 for a good laugh!

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

  Commentary:
  Still buffering in the morning like a Wi-Fi connection in the basement 😂📱🌛

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

  Commentary:
  When you find out that your neighbors have been decluttering, not downsizing their trash cans 😂🗑️🚗

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

  Commentary:
  Boldly going where no 'Trekkie' has gone before… straight into the wrong fandom 🚀🌌😂

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

  Commentary:
  Is this why my voicemail has been renamed to 'Missed Drama Collection'? 😂📞💬

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

  Commentary:
  "Guess it's time for some… 'adulting' 🤣🧹🛏️"

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