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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Going viral on Telegram:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Trending via WeChat:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Going viral on Slack:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Going viral on Instagram:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Trending via Threads:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Just landed via Telegram:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

29 Funny embarrassing quotes

More funny embarrassing quotes 👇

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

2 months ago

alive, commentary, embarrassing, existential, humor, irony, society, time
My superpower is embarrassing myself.

2 months ago

awkwardness, embarrassing, humor, myself, personality, self-deprecation, superpower
Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

2 months ago

awkwardness, desire, embarrassing, humor, i, intimacy, relationship, sex, want, why
Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

2 months ago

bad, doing, doing nothing, embarrassing, humor, i, insomnia, irony, nothing, sleep, something
Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

2 months ago

am, application, company, cover, cover letter, embarrassing, humor, i, irony, job, job application, letter, letters, love, love letter, workplace, writing
My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

2 months ago

bea, embarrassing, family, fight, Germans, grandad, humor, last, Normandy, summer, war
Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

2 months ago

browser, browser history, calculator, calculator history, delete, Earth, embarrassing, forget, history, i, pass
I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

2 months ago

accidentally, embarrassing, God, Gord, humor, i, lord, mix-up, mixed, prayed, religion
The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

2 months ago

baby, embarrassing, embarrassment, fool, front, funny moment, laugh, laughter, moment, self-deprecation, thing, world, yourself
I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

2 months ago

aging, bring, children, embarrassing, embarrassment, family, happiness, humor, i, joy, little, little things, me, older, parenting, things

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All funny embarrassing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Reddit this month:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

58 shares on Slack this month:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

22 shares on X this month:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

33 shares on Discord this month:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Just landed via YouTube:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Seen just now on Slack:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Shared recently on Threads:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Breaking via WeChat:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Going viral on Messenger:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Live now on Snapchat:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Activity Log ✨

29 Funny embarrassing quotes

More funny embarrassing quotes 👇

All funny embarrassing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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