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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Going viral on Slack:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Spotted on Threads:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Just shared via Reddit:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Just shared via WeChat:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

172 Funny girl quotes

Funny girl quotes highlight the humor and charm of female experiences and perspectives! 👩‍🦰😂 From witty observations about everyday life to playful remarks on girlhood, these quotes capture the lighter side of being a girl. Enjoy a laugh and celebrate the fun moments that make life uniquely entertaining! 😄💁‍♀️

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Slack this month:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

71 shares on X this month:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

18 shares on X this month:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

39 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

78 shares on X this month:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing over it is also dusting.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Live now on Twitch:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Trending via Discord:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Shared recently on Slack:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Spotted on Facebook:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Breaking via X:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Making waves on Facebook:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

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