149 Funny give quotes

• Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

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  3 weeks ago

  blood, generosity, give, horoscope, humor, idea, prediction, week

• If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

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  3 weeks ago

  answer, funny response, give, giving, humor, joke, lightheartedness, me, playful, playful threat, question, response, serious, serious answer, silly, silly question, threat, wedgie

• Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

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  3 weeks ago

  alarm, alarm clock, bacon, breakfast, clock, coffee, food, forget, give, just, me, morning, smell, wake, wake up

• Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

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  3 weeks ago

  cell, cell phone, company, give, give up, hold, hold music, humor, interest, jazz, lose, music, phone, play, smooth, smooth jazz, working

• You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

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  3 weeks ago

  attraction, cartoon, give, Goofy, humor, hyuck, i, love, weird

• Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

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  3 weeks ago

  again, dislike, divorce, getting, give, going, house, humor, i, love, marriage, married, relationship, sarcasm, woman

• Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

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  3 weeks ago

  family, food, frustration, give, give in, humor, just, kids, over, parenting, repetition, snack, throw, yelling

• Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

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  3 weeks ago

  chance, dating, fairness, give, humor, i, irony, man, me, men, ugly, ugly man, ugly woman, unfortunately, woman

• If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

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  3 weeks ago

  day, eat, fish, fishing, give, hell, house, humor, independence, man, relationship, Saturday, teach, weekend, yourself

• There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

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  3 weeks ago

  anonymous, anonymous gift, charity, gift, gift giving, give, giving, know, money, people, person, philanthropy, post, rich, rich person, should, website, where, wish, wishes

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