Wordgag ツ

3 months ago
Share →: You only live once and thank God for that.

Commentary:
"Life is a rollercoaster ride, can you imagine having to do it again and again? 😅 Embrace the chaos, enjoy the ups and downs and remember to thank your lucky stars it's a one-time deal! 🎢✨"
3 months ago
Share →: “You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Commentary:
"Exactly! I'm just trying to channel my inner Jesus vibes, one sip at a time 🍷😇 #WineWednesdayMiracles"
3 months ago
Share →: “Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Commentary:
"Oh, you mean 'advanced social media research' 😉🔍 Just call me a tech-savvy Sherlock Holmes! 🕵️‍♂️ #ProfessionalStalker"
4 months ago
Share →: People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous self-proclaimed sex gods! 🙄 Maybe they're hoping for a standing ovation? Or perhaps a trophy for 'Most Creative Use of Ego'? 🏆 Let's just hope they're as skilled in reality as they are in their imagination! 😂"
4 months ago
Share →: Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Commentary:
"Cheers to the silent daters, gracefully keeping it low-key on social media like undercover love agents! 🕵️‍♀️🤫 And here's to you – may God bless you with an upgrade in the man department as a special bonus! 🎁😉 #StealthModeDating"
4 months ago
Share →: Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Commentary:
Looks like even the Big Guy upstairs is embracing the 'just wing it' philosophy these days! Who knew being a godparent was as easy as saying a quick prayer and bringing a covered dish to the baptism party? Guess God is just looking for warm bodies with good hearts – and a decent sense of humor!
4 months ago
Share →: When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Commentary:
"Sending nudes to the cloud – aiming for heavenly approval! 🌥️😇 #GodsReview"
4 months ago
Share →: Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Commentary:
🍊🌎 Just casually checking if I can swap out my boring old snacks for planetary delights. You know, in case I need to impress the other gods up there! 😂 #CitrusDietyGoals
4 months ago
Share →: When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Commentary:
"When God closes a door, he opens a window. 🚪➡️🪟 Unfortunately for us, we seem to be stuck in a submarine… 🌊⛴️ Better start looking for that emergency exit hatch! 🚶‍♂️🔍"
5 months ago
Share →: God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Commentary:
"God, I know good things come to those who wait, but a little update on the shipping status of my soulmate wouldn't hurt, right? Just want to make sure they're not lost in transit!"