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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

4 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Trending via Telegram:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Spotted on YouTube:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Just landed via Twitch:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Just landed via Telegram:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Trending via Reddit:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Just shared via Slack:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Home » Funny Going Quotes

258 Funny going quotes

Funny going quotes 😄—those little nuggets of humor and wisdom that keep us chuckling through life’s ups and downs. Whether you’re meandering through Monday madness or surfing the weekend waves, these playful quips add a sprinkle of laughter to the routine. Perfect for a quick giggle or a deep belly laugh, they remind us that life is too short to take too seriously. So buckle up, because these quotes are your ticket to a fun-filled journey through the chaos and comedy of everyday adventures! 🚀✨

New funny going quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Commentary:
When the group chat says "party till dawn," but your inner grandma insists on bedtime by 9 PM 😴🛌✨
1 day ago
Share →: Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Commentary:
Ah yes, the classic research tactic: Procrastination by Panic 📱😅📚
3 days ago
Share →: This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Commentary:
🌍✈️ Looks like I became a full-time resident of Airplane-ville. I just ordered a monogrammed seat cushion! 🎒🍼😅
3 days ago
Share →: The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Commentary:
Commuting to "The Land of Responsibility" wasn't on my bucket list 🏢🚶‍♂️😅
6 days ago
Share →: I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Commentary:
Prepare the earplugs, folks, because tomorrow's karaoke night is going to be a "Yoko Ono hits high note" special! 🎤😂🎶
7 days ago
Share →: People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Commentary:
Ah, breakfast chefs in the morning are just overachievers with spatulas! 🥓👨‍🍳🍳
7 days ago
Share →: Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Commentary:
"Guess I'm on the hunt for a new doctor now! 🍻🚫😂"
1 week ago
Share →: I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Commentary:
Looks like my mirror is getting ready for the show of a lifetime! 😂😂🌟
1 week ago
Share →: Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Commentary:
Can't blame the Wi-Fi for my brain's 24/7 chatroom! 🤯🗯️😂
1 week ago
Share →: This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Commentary:
Looks like he's auditioning for a role in the next Fast & Furious movie! 🚓🎬😂

For even more funny going quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny going quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

4 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Trending via Messenger:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Going viral on TikTok:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Trending via Twitch:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Just landed via Telegram:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Just shared via WeChat:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Just landed via Twitch:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

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