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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Breaking via Discord:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Going viral on Telegram:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Making waves on Twitch:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Going bananas on Threads:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Going viral on Threads:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Shared recently on Discord:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

30 Funny greeting quotes

Funny greeting quotes bring a burst of laughter 🌟 to any hello! Whether you’re sliding into DMs or brightening a friend’s day, these cheeky lines add the perfect sprinkle of humor 😂 and charm. Say goodbye to boring greetings and hello to smiles 😄 that stick around. Ready to level up your hellos? Let the giggles begin! 🎉📲

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Just shared via Telegram:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Trending via Slack:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Just shared via Discord:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Just landed via Messenger:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

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