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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1737 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,899

Funny Quotes Topics

14,718

Funny Quotes Images

11,899

5 minutes ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Making waves on WeChat:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Just landed via Messenger:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Shared recently on Discord:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Trending via Slack:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Reported on Telegram:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Spotted on Telegram:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Home » Funny Greeting Quotes

15 Funny greeting quotes

Funny greeting quotes bring a burst of laughter 🌟 to any hello! Whether you’re sliding into DMs or brightening a friend’s day, these cheeky lines add the perfect sprinkle of humor 😂 and charm. Say goodbye to boring greetings and hello to smiles 😄 that stick around. Ready to level up your hellos? Let the giggles begin! 🎉📲

New funny greeting quotes 👇

11 hours ago
Share →: Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Commentary:
When you text your friend to ask how many potions you need for the subway ride 🧙‍♂️🗽😂
15 hours ago
Share →: Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Commentary:
Sounds like a case for the heartbreak police! 🚨💔😂
23 hours ago
Share →: How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Commentary:
Brows up, communication up! 😂🙌 #LazinessLevel: Expert
3 days ago
Share →: What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Commentary:
When you say "hiii," and they're just cluelessly saying "hi" back 😅✨💌
3 days ago
Share →: You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Commentary:
😂 "Next time my barista tells me to 'enjoy the next 24 hours,' I'm ordering my coffee with a side of panic! ☕😅🚨"
1 month ago
Share →: People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Commentary:
"New year, new me… and by 'me' I mean ghost mode activated for 364 days! 👻📅✨"
2 months ago
Share →: Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Commentary:
"Sure, come on over! I'll even roll out the red carpet… to gently roll it back up when it's time to leave. 😄🚪🕰️"
2 months ago
Share →: If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Commentary:
"That's the kind of cheddar that'll have everyone grinning like a mouse in a cheese factory! 🧀😄🐭"
2 months ago
Share →: What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Commentary:
"🤣🍔 'Hey, I'm Big Matt! Can I take your order… for friendship? 🤗💁‍♂️'"
4 months ago
Share →: Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Commentary:
"Good morning, you charismatic cynic!🌞😜 May your day be as bright and sassy as your sarcasm!😏 #SarcasmGoals"

For even more funny greeting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny greeting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1737 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,899

Funny Quotes Topics

14,718

Funny Quotes Images

11,899

5 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Just landed via YouTube:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Going viral on Messenger:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Making waves on Telegram:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

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