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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has copied:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has downloaded:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has viewed:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

β€œI’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has copied:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has viewed:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Shared recently on Twitch:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

β€œI have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Freshly posted on Slack:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Making waves on Instagram:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

30 Funny greeting quotes

Funny greeting quotes bring a burst of laughter 🌟 to any hello! Whether you’re sliding into DMs or brightening a friend’s day, these cheeky lines add the perfect sprinkle of humor πŸ˜‚ and charm. Say goodbye to boring greetings and hello to smiles πŸ˜„ that stick around. Ready to level up your hellos? Let the giggles begin! πŸŽ‰πŸ“²

New funny greeting quotes πŸ‘‡

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All funny greeting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Guys love being called β€œdaddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

73 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

11 shares on Slack this month:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œYou’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,738

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has shared:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has downloaded:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has downloaded:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has copied:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via YouTube:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Breaking via Slack:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Seen just now on Threads:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Trending via Instagram:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Going viral on Discord:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Spotted on Telegram:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

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