82 Funny guy quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine being Richard and waking up one day realizing everyone's calling you 'Dick' 🤣 That's a harsh nickname downgrade! Poor Richard must have really rubbed someone the wrong way to earn that 😂 #NicknameFail"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

  Commentary:
  🤣 What a hair-raising idea! Sounds like your band will have a smooth, shiny performance. Just be sure to shine bright like a hairpiece on stage! 🕺🎤 #HairlessWhisper #NoHairDontCare

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the dreaded "I wanna talk to you about something" moment… 🤨 At that point, you're just hoping it's a heated debate about economics and not a request to help them move furniture! 😂 #FriendshipGoals #EconomyTalks

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

  Commentary:
  Looks like an impromptu grocery shopping adventure with a side of unexpected bonding 🛒😄 Who knew forgetting your wife's list could lead to a new shopping buddy! #ShoppingGoals

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

  Commentary:
  Ah, the infamous gate lurker, the one passenger who has you praying to the travel gods for any seat that's not adjacent to his! 🙏✈️ Just remember, a noisy neighbor may be annoying, but at least he won't steal your armrest (hopefully)! 🙅‍♂️😂 #FlyingFollies

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

  Commentary:
  🍂 "All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg. Well, Greg must be really standing out in that autumn landscape! 🤣 Maybe he should consider a wardrobe update to blend in better with Mother Nature's color palette!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

  Commentary:
  Looks like he's accidentally treating the bathroom like a photo shoot! 📸 Maybe he's just trying to go for that "caught in the act" aesthetic? 🚽😄 Just a heads-up buddy, it's not the best setting for a surprise photo op! #BathroomBlunders

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

  Commentary:
  Well, it looks like someone needs a crash course in the divine ways of donuts 🍩! I mean, who in their right mind turns down a donut? Clearly, we're dealing with a doughnut novice here. Maybe we should enroll him in Donuts 101 for some much-needed education. Donut miss out on this opportunity, kiddo! 🤣 #DonutDilemma #SprinkleSomeSense

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

  Commentary:
  Ah, a classic case of waking up to find your trusty steed has done a disappearing act courtesy of the Mafia! 🐎💼 Bet that guy wasn't expecting a half-horsepower engine in his bed! 🤣 #MafiaMagic #HorseWhispererGoneWrong

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: *Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic icebreaker move! 👶🏻💬 Who knew babies could be such excellent wingmen? 😉 #BabyMatchmaker"

For even more funny guy quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny guy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌