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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Just landed via TikTok:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Just landed via TikTok:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Making waves on TikTok:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Live now on Discord:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Seen just now on X:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

116 Funny hope quotes

More funny hope quotes 👇

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

3 weeks ago

awkward, awkward situation, borrowed, borrowed things, garage, garage sale, having, hope, humor, people, possessions, sale, selling, situation, things, thrift
I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

3 weeks ago

energy, hope, i, lesson, light, parenting, room, teen, turn, year
How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

3 weeks ago

attraction, attractive, attractive person, boldness, dating, flirt, hope, humor, i, interaction, me, person, social, social interaction, times
Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

3 weeks ago

bad, hope, humor, irony, optimism, situation
Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

3 weeks ago

crash, fail, feel, half, hope, humor, i, incompetence, job, live, next, once, perspective, planet, remember, software, software update, someone, tech, tech fail, time, update, workplace
I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

3 weeks ago

AI, bad, hope, i, mine, nice, pets, something
Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

3 weeks ago

aliens, discover, extraterrestrial, fear, hope, humor, i, life, lunatics, planets
The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

3 weeks ago

forgive, hope, humor, love, relationships, second, stupidity, third, time
I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

3 weeks ago

bear, biblical, biblical phrases, crops, cursing, eat, fruit, hope, humor, i, insults, mustard, mustard seed, people, phrases, ravens, sarcasm, seed, seeds, start, wit
If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

3 weeks ago

bear, ever, fight, gummy, hope, humor, i, joke, wish

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All funny hope quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Discord this month:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

16 shares on Discord this month:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Shared recently on Slack:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Going viral on YouTube:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Activity Log ✨

116 Funny hope quotes

More funny hope quotes 👇

All funny hope quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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